The Best Ways To Disappear

by Best Ex

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1.
Bad Idea 02:34
I took the long way home and I’m not sure why; I guess I don’t know how to deal with all the things on my mind, Like how my coffee is black and that’s how you like yours, how the sweetness of your voice hits my ear and dissolves but you’re a bad idea and I know it. You’re a bad idea and I know it. well, I will do it anyway; my heart won’t listen to my brain. You’re a bad idea and I know I want to be a little reckless with you, pick a penny up on the unlucky side, trace a curse word into the back of a car that hasn’t been washed in a while and there’s worn off paint where the rust shows through The same things I see in me and you like how the concrete sprouts blades of grass and I’ll still smile when you fill our tank up but you’re a bad idea and I know it. You’re a bad idea and I know it. well, I will do it anyway; my heart won’t listen to my brain. You’re a bad idea and I know it. You know the best ways to disappear and you do what you do because you feel like it. You’re unpredictable but there’s something about you I want to know. I want to know. but you’re a bad idea and I know it. You’re a bad idea and I know. You’re a bad idea and I know it and you do what you do because you feel like it.
2.
Matchbox Car 03:12
I wear my loneliness like an old t-shirt that doesn’t really fit me. I can’t say your name like it’s a curse and I’ll jinx something. Well, I don’t believe in those things. I don’t believe in anything cause it’s always the same thing: I stare at you across from me. You put your hands on my knees. Sometimes I think you’re really sweet and I’m confused. Sometimes we kiss; sometimes we don’t; Sometimes we take off our clothes, and I’m not sure what I should do, cause sometimes I think I might like you. You’ve got this funny way of acting sweet when you want something from me, but you collect hearts like they’re matchbox cars. I traded mine for nothing. Well, sometimes I’m down for anything. Sometimes I’m down for anything, but it’s always the same thing. I stare at you across from me. You put your hands on my knees. Sometimes I think you’re really sweet and I’m confused. Sometimes we kiss; sometimes we don’t; Sometimes we take off our clothes, and I’m not sure what I should do, cause sometimes I think I might like you. I get a little bit to nervous. You think it’s cute when I stumble over words I don’t know what to say to you. You think that I’m afraid of everything when I know that that’s not true. It’s really just you. I stare at you across from me. You put your hands on my knees. Sometimes I think you’re really sweet and I’m confused. Sometimes we kiss; sometimes we don’t; Sometimes we take off our clothes, and I’m not sure what I should do, cause sometimes I think I yeah sometimes I think I might like you.
3.
Take me back to when I met you in the parking lot outside the show. Sitting in your beat up van, all our friends knew what was gonna happen. Now, I try not to think about the way our breath aligned when you put your body next to mine. You, you are a song in my head. My voice is sore from singing it as we cross off miles and interstates. The same white lines that brought you here will take you away. And now I’m standing in the back room and you’re avoiding me. I’m not sure what it was I did. I didn’t do it intentionally, And some day you’ll be a polaroid of someone I used to know. I’ll be a stranger on the end of the phone. You, you are a song in my head. My voice is sore from singing it as we cross off miles and interstates. The same white lines that brought you here will take you away. I can’t forget the way we spent the day in bed. You pulled the sheets over our faces so I could hear your whispering and you looked at me with those eyes that told me that you could see inside me. You, you are a song in my head. My voice is sore from singing it as we cross off miles and interstates. The same white lines that brought you here will take you away.
4.
Sometimes my bones feel too clumsy for my skin, the skin that can’t forgive the scar on my hip, the one that you trace with your hands. Sometimes my brain can’t make up it’s mind, a broken switch, a down power line a radio cutting in and out, my swingset mood swinging up and down. It’s just another thing that I can’t fix like the broken clasp on my favorite necklace, the loneliness that anchors me to bed, but you could cut it out of me, replace the parts I’ve rusted out that I don’t need. Erase all the stupid things I say, the things that don’t work out the way we planned. And I know I make myself miserable, sleep to much to see how it feels when I wake up and everything’s heavier But you know that you do the same, stay up in bed until all of the things you don’t want to think are tangled up inside your sheets. It’s just another thing that I don’t need like loneliness or the wisdom teeth that are constantly pressing on my head but you could cut it out of me, replace the parts I’ve rusted out that I don’t need. Erase all the stupid things I say, the things that don’t work out the way we planned. And you know how I work. I’m clumsy with everything. I break my own heart, but I promise if you lend my yours I wont let it fall. I wont let it fall. And you could cut it out of me, replace the parts I’ve rusted out that I don’t need. Erase all the stupid things I say, the things that don’t work out the way we planned. The way we planned. The way we planned.
5.
Sick Of It 03:43
When the hole in your chest seems to tear with the rip in your dress you didn’t know was there, and the hole in your bank account’s too big to be filled with anything, when your smile pulls away like a bullet train and you run for the doors but they close in your face and nothing feels okay, take off your glasses, raise your fists and tell the world you’re sick of it. You know exactly what they are and you don’t have to feel like this anymore. When the kitchen sink seems upset you make it carry more than it can, and the clothes on the floor are begging you to get up, get dressed, leave this room, when the empties that line the floor by the couch are like purple hearts and you can’t figure out what you were sad about, take off your glasses, raise your fists and tell the world you’re sick of it. You know exactly what they are and you don’t have to feel like this anymore. You can try to run away, look for answers in everything, wish on an eyelash or full moon and wonder who will answer you when the hole in your chest seems to tear with the rip in your dress you didn’t know you didn’t know. Take off your glasses, raise your fists and tell the world you’re sick of it. You know exactly what they are and you don’t have to feel like this anymore. When the hole in your chest feels too big to be filled with anything.
6.
Ticklish 02:59
Am I just something to waste your time like a movie you have memorized, small talk, a cigarette or a stare? We don’t say anything; we never go anywhere. Well, I want to see more than the inside of your room. I want to know what it’s like to know you. All I know is I know you’re ticklish when I run my hands over your ribs. Oh, oh, oh I pretend I’m ticklish, cause I’d do anything to feel you. Lying next to you in your room, I want to know if there’s this part of you that misses me when I’m not here. Is it as small as the bones in you inner ear that are listening as my heart beats every time you turn and look at me? All I know is I know you’re ticklish when I run my hands over your ribs. Oh, oh, oh I pretend I’m ticklish, cause I’d do anything to feel your skin against me against me against me All I know is I know you’re ticklish when I run my hands over your ribs. Oh, oh, oh I pretend I’m ticklish, cause I’d do anything to feel you. But am I just something to waste your time? But am I just something to waste your time? Oh, oh, oh I pretend I’m ticklish We don’t do anything I don’t say anything.

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released November 6, 2012

Recorded by Paul Miner at Buzzbomb Studios, Produced by Chad Gilbert, Mixed by Jon Howard, Mastered by Dan Coutant at Sun Room Audio

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